Life Sucks Sometimes.... A Lot!

I've had an itch to write for the past couple of weeks.... considering its been 2 years, i think its time i get back into my writing groove.

I've always been pretty blunt and honest about life, and this is going to be no different.   2014 has to classify as one of the worst years of my life.    I've hurt deeper than I ever thought was possible.    'There will be trials in this world' is an understatement:   Addictions, An Affair, Doubt, Hate, Bitterness, Anger, Fear, Finances, Friendships, Emotions, Suicide...

I think the biggest hurt of everything I've been through is the fact that I've felt abandoned by some of the people I love and care about the most in my greatest hour of need.   This past year I needed people to be there for me.    I've always thought of myself as someone who would go to the end of the world for someone who was in need.    For whatever reason... that wasn't the case for me this past year.   I've felt more alone that I ever have.   It appeared at times people didn't know how to talk to me about what I was going through, so instead of talking to me, they didn't, or they avoided the subject.     One of our deepest human desires is to be important and heard.      I've contemplated everything from suicide, divorce, cheating, bankruptcy, and many other things....wondering at times why I've been put in such a situation.    However - God has been faithful, speaking to me in my darkest hours, encouraging me, and loving me when I'm unlovable.

Things are looking up through counseling, impatient treatments, prayer, and putting one foot in front of the other.   I'm not proud of a lot of things.... and my self worth is lower than its ever been.    I've gained about 50lbs and feel miserable about myself.    I know through God I have power over all the dark things of this world, all the temptations Satan lays before our culture, and I am claiming victory over it all!   God is much bigger than my mess or your mess, just keep swimming.

2015 - I want my joy back!   I want to live fearlessly and love more.   I want to love the people that hurt me most and don't want anyone to feel forgotten.   We are IMPORTANT and We matter.   Remember that.... when it feels like nobody does... God knows and God cares about you and your mess.

In conclusion, i think technology is killing our society.    We are so caught up in living in our busy life behind technology screens that we forget to get real and personal people.    Take a risk and have real conversations.     Quit stalking your friends on facebook - go have coffee or lunch with them instead.   Make an effort.   People need each other.     We need to turn off our phones and computers and look people in the eyes.    Go make someone feel valued today.