Haiti bound in 24 days

An opportunity has fallen into my lap to go to Haiti June 19th-27th ~  so excited!   I'll be going as a 'caregiver' to the wonderful Linda Lamb!    Any of you who have been to Haiti over the years with MOH know what an amazing woman she is.    We both haven't been back to Haiti since June of 2010.     Excited to see what God has in store for me while I am there.   2 years ago it was a turning point for me as I was reflecting on my relationship with Greg and knew it was over for 'us' as he was walking down a very deadly path, but looking back it is so amazing what God has done in my life and Greg's life since that last trip.     Looking forward to reconnecting with friends while there and seeing what the team can accomplish during our time.

To top it all off, timing couldn't be more perfect as I'll arrive back from Haiti to Indianapolis on the night Greg is released from prison.    Which means I'll be able to pick him up when they drop him off at the bus station early morning on the 28th.     In my book, It'll be a perfect homecoming!

Some memories from my last trip!

Also - looking forward to some R&R with the future in-laws.

As I was out walking this evening with two fantastic women from my life group.....   a kid jumped out of a car in a hot dog suit.     Unfortunately I was unable to grab a picture.... but this was really comical and added some additional joy to a wonderful evening.  

Then I got to have some chinese with JJ & Alicia, followed by a phone call from Greg.   

As I sit here and reflect on the day, weeks, months.... I'm so grateful for the people God has placed in my life here in Fort Wayne, the opportunities to sit on the sidelines of their lives and see their steps of faith, answers to prayers, and watch as God continues to move in mine.

33 days... not that I'm counting or anything.

I miss deep conversations and quaility face to face time with my friends.... the weeks seem to get longer here.     I have not found or formed any friendships here that are beyond surface level or work related... I hate surfacey relationships.... I want nuts and bolts...     still looking here for them.... 

So yes... I miss my QT time....  33 days and I'll get more QT with my future husband... looking forward to that too.

41 days and counting!

Great NEWS tonight from Greg via phone - he got his official paperwork for his 'out' date - JUNE 27th it is, PTL!   

Greg's been worried about it - I kept telling him it will all work out like it should - and thus - it continues to fall into place as God's in control of this journey.

Now... several other things yet to be determined in our lives .... but I'm not worried... God's seeing us through every hurdle, hill, valley, and rooftop.

Who you listening to?

Just had my life group meeting tonight, and I came home and opened my bible to this, which relates heavily to our discussion of several of the women's hearts tonight:

NLT version:

John 5:41-42 "Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me, because I know you don't have God's love within you."

So many of us struggle with hearing God's voice in the sea of swimming opinions, advice, and lies from Satan.

This past 6mo to a year I've had my fair share of voices of what I would like to call 'loving fear' from important people in my life who have questioned the path I am on.     It takes wisdom and a heart in tune with the Lord to make sure you take into account what needs to be heard and what things are potential road blockers to keep you from walking in faith.    I value those words of wisdom from the people God's blessed my life with.... but sometimes you need to pull away from those voices and listen to the only one that matters.
   
Who's approval are you seeking?

Quote from one of the women tonight, "Its easier to for God to move you when you are already in motion."      

Shame.... brokeness.... heartache.... loss.... success.... encouragement.....we all have our own testimony that God has given us to draw us closer, build our faith, and use for His glory!   

Locks: Are you in or out?

Ever lock your keys in your car?     I'm the person who usually leaves the keys in the ignition, doors unlocked, and I'm open to anyone borrowing my wheels.....  So yesterday ... I'm commuting home from my 2 and 1/2 hour weekly visit with Greg.    I decide... 'hey.. I really could use a pit stop to empty my 'tank' and hey..while I'm at it... I could check and see if that bar stool that I found on clearance is here at this store so I can purchase a match.'     As I pull into the parking lot I get a work phone call regarding a clients behavioral issues, so as I multi-task I finish up the conversation, get out of my car, put phone away, feel for my keys.... realize... I have no keys.... turn around with enough time to hear the locks go 'click'.     Here I am... 85 miles away from my 2nd set of keys locked in my apartment... in some suburb along Interstate 69.     At this point I realize I left my drivers side window open about two inches.... this is where I attempt inserting my chubby arm.     I soon realize this method is not working... so I go inside and purchase this thing...

The WONDER BAR!     The lady at the Meijer's checkout looked at me funny when I came through to purchase this and an extremely long metal ruler.     She made some comment about doing some 'heavy work' and I responded... 'well actually... I locked my keys in the car'.    She said I needed to go get a hanger instead, I told her if this didn't work I'd be back for the hangers in a minute.    I head out to the parking lot and start my mission.    Before long, I have an audience of encouragers.    By my forth attempt I hit the locks and was good to go.     One guy says to me 'you're sure a smart one!'.... I responded ...'I'd have been a whole lot smarter had I not locked them in my car in the first place!'.

So thank you WONDER BAR for coming to my rescue....

I've just had the realization that I've not been very good at updating my blog these past few months, so many things keeping me preoccupied here that I seldom have down time to sit and gather my thoughts to share, but its important to give you an update!

I finially feel all settled in my apartment, its nice to have my own place to come home to again, and nice to have some of my own stuff again.

This last week Gregory had his final test for his class he has been taking, and I'm proud to say he got a perfect score!   The only one in his class to manage a 100%!    So this confirms that he will receive his 90 day time cut!    WOOHOOO!!!   Beyond excited.     We are definiately on the down hill slope of this hurdle.      I am very blessed to get to go down to Plainfield once a week to visit him for a 2hr visit (often our visits last a tad longer which is an added bonus).    It's so nice to be able to see, touch, and sit across from him to have eye to eye conversations with him.     It looks like June 27th ... if not before will be his expected release date, and it could be sooner than this.    We are praying that his paperwork and everything gets processed quickly so that nothing is held up in the system to hold him back from getting his early release.

We both know there is a long, difficult road ahead of us and that it will require a lot of work on our parts but we are so excited to continue to move forward on this journey God has brought us on.   Very excited to see what the road ahead entails for us.

Interestingly enough.... I find it amusing that God used a locked car door this week to remind me of God's open door policy for us to join Him.     Here I am... week after week... waiting, wondering, and trying to get in and of locked spaces while Greg just longs to get out.     Freedom is a precious thing, I'm thankful for the freedom I have in Christ.     Walking into the prison courtyard and being shut inside layers of gates and doors is not confining because of who I am, free in Christ.     Lord thank you for your grace, your love, and the abundant joy you put into my life.     Thank you for opening the right doors and closing the wrong ones in my life and pushing me to walk boldy through the gates you have prepared for me.

This week I bought a dress, went to prison, moved into an apartment, and fired a difficult employee.

Well - the last 7 days have been spectacular!    My mom flew in last Friday night and we did some shopping for bridal gowns.    I found a dress Saturday morning in Indianapolis, it has the BLING I was looking for, along with accomodating the style choices of some of my highly favored friends I polled, and it's strapless to appease Greg's vision.      I'm excited to see what it'll look like when it comes in brand new and in my proper size.    Dress shopping was fun, but I'm glad that stressor is over with.    It was an added bonus to have mom here to show around town and just to talk to about decisions and wedding plans.

Upon arriving home Saturday evening from Indy, I was THRILLED to find a letter from Gregory - inside he had put the slip of paper that said I was approved for visits.    He wrote the one liner 'the balls in your court'.     We've been waiting for several weeks now to get through the visiting approval process, and this has been one of my top priority prayer requests!    So Wednesday morning I flexed out some time from my job and headed down to Plainfield, Indiana to suprise Greg at the Short Term Offender Program.

So - what do you envision as you walk into prison?   For my experience - it started in a parking lot where I followed another woman up to a big tall metal gate with the wires across the top.    I pressed the button and the lady on the other end says 'state your name'...  as I did I heard the gate click open for my passage way up a long paved sidewalk.     As I reached towards the crest of the hill I reached another gate with a speaker.    As I approached the gate the door automatically was clicked open.   I walked through it and climbed the stairs into an historic looking house like building.      I followed the arrows that led me to room with a scanner and metal detector.    The lady asked for the number of the offender I was visiting and my photo id.     As she processed me in, I placed my keys in the locker provided and stepped through the scanner.    I then received a visitor badge and was asked to wait in another tiny room.     At that point I was escorted with 3 other moms visiting their sons through the building and out onto the prison grounds.      As we walked I noted inmates working in various locations throughout the campus : mowing, trimming, taking out trash, etc....    I followed the group as we passed through a third gate with a barbed wire fence on top.     We walked across the campus (the facility is located on the grounds of an old boys school) and passed by several buildings.   Some of them looking like the dorms for the prisoners, another building labeled the chapel, and we were led into a giant meeting room with vending machines and tables and chairs.    We were told what area we could sit in and we waited for our loved ones to arrive.

I was greeted with a long, lingering hug and then a kiss.    We got to enjoy an hr and a 1/2 visit and just relish in the freedom of not communicating through a phone or a glass window, it was glorious!  We talked, we laughed, and we dreamed.     The visit was not near long enough, but we parted remembering that this situation was temporary, I reminded Greg as i departed to 'Stay strong, and remember greater things are yet to come.'

Upon the visitors leaving the room and being escorated across campus and through the multiple gates, I learned that as we were still walking within site, the inmates were being strip searched in the room we had just had our visit in.    Greg told me he could see me walking across campus as he was being thoroughly searched for any contraband, etc...

Funny things Greg has learned about prison: people are CREATIVE as you wouldn't believe the things people can make out of nothing.     The prison is a smoke free facility, however this certainly isn't the case as bags of tobacco are brought in by staff and sold to inmates, who then internally have their own profit ring as they sell to other inmates within the facility.    Staffers look the other way as inmates hideaway in the bathrooms to smoke.     Batteries are a hot commodity as 2 Batteries can be stripped and used to make a flame to light their cigarrettes.   The list goes on....

Greg has been struggling these last few weeks - he has chosen to isolate himself from the other inmates.   He barely talks to anyone just because he feels he's better off this way, if you say the wrong thing things get messy or if you talk to the wrong people, etc...    So in his isolation, Satan's been playing with his thoughts.     I'm happy to report that following my visit Wednesday and our conversation tonight he's sounding more upbeat and happy.   

Monday I interviewed for a position with Indiana Mentor, the job would be a career advancement and a great financial plus.   I felt like the interview went really well but won't know anything for at least a week or two as she said they would run references and get our background checks completed before making a decision.

So - All in all - a great week - mom came to visit, I got to see Gregory after several months, found a wedding dress, had a promising job interview, and got posession of my apartment.

Next week will also be full of fun as I fly back to missouri and get to spend time with loved ones, get my hair done, make some more wedding plans, and then pack up my storage unit into a UHAUL to drive on out to Indiana to unpack and get settled.    I'm so looking forward to going 'home' this next week.

Thank you for your prayers ~ and your continued prayers on this journey.